Marie from Ohio called into The Ramsey Show (1) recently with a story both heartbreaking and cautionary: Her live-in boyfriend had secretly spent nearly $17,000 across two of her credit cards. She only discovered it after scrutinizing her finances closely.
Marie mentioned she’d handed her credit card to a pest control company for a recurring monthly charge, with her boyfriend agreeing to cover it as his household expense. What she didn’t know was that he was also using her card to pay for their joint car insurance, buy auto parts and cover other personal expenses — all while intercepting the paper statements before she could see them in the mail.
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By the time she caught on in 2023, one card had ballooned to nearly $11,000. A second card, a Lowe’s account she wasn’t even aware he was using, had another $5,600 on it (1).
Marie paid both down somewhat before calling in, leaving balances of $8,100 and $4,900, but she’s still on the hook for roughly $13,000 total, all in her name.
Why she may have little recourse
The hosts were candid about where she stands.
As cohost Rachel Cruze noted, “if you willingly gave your credit card over and you just have a crappy boyfriend who’s not paying it, that’s more on you guys. That’s not a legal standing (1).”
While the hosts advised her to contact both credit card companies, flag those specific charges as unauthorized and ask if they can be reversed, his use of her cards still leads back to her.
According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) (2), “unauthorized use is defined as use of a credit card by someone who doesn’t have the right to use the card.” But critically, if you gave the card to someone, you’ve authorized the use.
The CFPB also notes if that person then uses the card for a different purpose, it may still be considered authorized use, and you remain responsible until you notify your card issuer that the person is no longer permitted to use the account (2).
This is the catch for Marie. She might remain responsible for charges she doesn’t know about until she notifies her card issuer that her boyfriend is no longer permitted to use the account.
That makes the car insurance payments and auto part purchases on the original card harder to dispute than they might appear. The Lowe’s card may be a different matter, since Marie had no knowledge he was using that account at all, making it the stronger fraud claim of the two.